Pneity

It's been nearly a month since I've written to this blog. I can safely say it's because I no longer have any urge to use computers the way I used to. As a hobby, getting to toy with they way they work, setting them up, etc. So, I don't get around to blogging for my website, because I can't broadcast the site anymore. I begin to wonder if I ever wilĂ again. But I digress... the last month has pretty much royally sucked. Work has been hell; too much stress and guilt involved. So, instead of putting up with it, I decided to put in my two weeks notice that I'll be leaving. That was a week ago, so this is my last week at PulseNET. I'm worried about my financial situation until I find a new job. And I worry about finding a new job. My friends have found crappy jobs, but at least they enjoy them. I wish for the same thing, but there is no way I can expect that for my crappy luck. I greatly hope my next job is something I can enjoy more. Added to that, this spring has absolutely sucked. Weather is on and off, and I've seen almost none of that heart warming happy cuteness that I associated with Spring in the past. So, in short, I no longer believe in Spring. Sabrina has been addicted, once again, to a DVD set TV show. This time around, it's Roswell. For the last week, I've felt completely ignored, and it's pretty much been hell on me. Friday, my parents left for South Carolina for my Aunt Doe's 50th anniversary party, pretty much my whole family has gone. Today, everyone came back, except them, they're going to spend a few days in Nashville. Casey went to St. Croix with my brother Matt. So, 4 of my siblings are now in the Virgin Islands (for the next week, at least). I've got the house alone, but haven't had a chance to enjoy that. Not that there's anything to "enjoy" about being alone. As for normal blogging, I'll start things with yesterday. I woke up to a call from Chad, my great friend from high school. He wanted me to go with him to Monroeville with him. He wanted to check something at the Guitar Center they have there. Which ended up being quite the impressive place. We stopped at his Mom's new house in Norwin and Chad's sister gave me the FullMetal Alchemist movie for Sabrina. We got to the guitar store, and Chad almost bought a Stevie Ray Vaughn model strat, but was talked down by his mother. Good thing, too. Poor Chad and his expensive habits. I can sympathize, I guess. I asked him to stop at CompUSA while we were in the area, but we couldn't find it. We stopped into Radio Shack to ask where it was, and we eventually found it. Thr reason I need to stop there... Bawls. I'm hooked on Bawls now. Got three cases. Now, I'm one Cobalt Flux delivery away from a DDR party. After parting ways with Chad, I headed to Sabrina's house. On my way through Fayette City, I saw Chad pulled over by the cops on the way through. He got a speeding ticket, but wasn't worried because he's got friends in high places. Nice. I went on my merry (or not) to Sabrina's, where we spent some melancholy time together before I went to Wendy's for dinner, then to The Maxx in Uniontown for some DDR. The place was empty because it was a bit late. Bummer. I was just plain pissed off after that. Everything just sucked in my eyes that night. Curiosity got the best of me that night, even. On the way home, I took the side road to the house where I used to live. I went to turn around at the end of said road, but I screwed up. Bad. I drove one of my back wheels off a foot deep ditch while backing up. I was horrified. I managed to get out of that situation by sticking it into low gear and easing my way out, but I was scared to death. Naturally, that didn't make the night any better. By the time I got home, I was too angry at everything to even think about doing anything else for the night. I watched TV until I passed out on the couch. This spring has royally sucked. This morning, it was cold and rainy. Glory. I headed to Sabrina's house, where I got a much pleasant surprise. She was wearing a dress, and had straightened her hair. It's weird how fate throws you a curveball every once in a while. In this case, it may have been that little "here you go" to keep me from really drowning in my own self pitty. And sure enough, it was a great day. Spending time with Sabrina and her family was nice. Sabrina even seemed to forĂet about Roswell for most of the day, and we talked out the whole last week worth of problems I've been having with her. We even talked a bit about the direction of our lives. She even tried to give me some hope, but I don't know if it helped as she intended. But at least I've got here there with me. I have the perfect girlfriend. Or at least as perfect as humanity would allow. So now, I'm at home, back to nearly square one, and facing another week of work. Which, I hope things keep up like they were last week. Last week, everyone was nice to me, and spirits were high. That's the first time that happened to me since I started there. Go figure. But I won't get my hopes up. Tomorrow, I plan to write about how much 'today' sucked. G'night.

I've really been in a funk this last week. I'm not sure why. I haven't been working, or doing anything in particular. Just sort of existing. Something is driving me down and I'm not sure what. I'm plagued by thoughts of the horrors of finding a new job, but that's not really bothering me so much as it should. But what is? A few things, really. Sabrina's been at work, so I've found myself needing to stay occupied. This is tricky since all the things I love are out of reach now. Asheron's Call 2 closed, I have no way of obtaining new anime, normal video games bore me, and I have no art skills. With my spare thoughts, I obsess, which isn't too surprising, but it's really been getting in the way. Sidetrack: Last weekend was Prom picnic at Scottyland with Chad, Joey, Baker, and Marie. Sabrina didn't want to go, so we decided not to go. Friday, after my last day of work (leaving work there left me in a good mood, by the way. I wonder if they miss me...) Chad called me frantic, wanting me to go for the weekend, even without Sabrina. So I did. She was having her girls' weekend with her cousin and sister anyway. Weekend was wonderful. We saw Da Vinci Code, got lost in Johnstown, and ate more hotdogs and smores than any one group of 5 should ever attempt. But being there without Sabrina left me with time to miss her and think about things. I thought more than I have in months, and I came to a few conclusions. I'm completely unreasonably obcessed with dresses/skirts and am deveoping vag envy (if Baker can have Penis envy, I can have vag envy, right?) for that very reason. I have decided to try my best to break that obsession. Somehow. Also, I have realized that I haven't been treating Sabrina right, so I plan to be the good boyfriend just like I once vowed I would be. Chad, Joey, and I once patted ourselves on the back that were could be the nice guys, the guys that girls end up with in the end, and love with every fiber of their being to the end. We reminessed about that for a while, and it really put things back in perspective for me once again. It's time to turn things around. But back to my more recent train of thought. I've just been down. Somewhere between vag envy and Benadryl, I've felt like I'm just floating. I need to break this soon. I got ahold of some computers from my aunt that have been keeping me occupied. Once of them is totally bitchin'. So bitchin' that I haven't looked at the older one yet. But my new Windows 2003 server is up, and you just may be reading this on that very server. How cool is that? Saturday, I took Donna (my dad's ex wife) home from the airport. Sabrina came with me along for the ride, and we only got lost once! Once we found our way, things went smooth. I even got to see the nuclear power plant outside of Uniontown. It's freaking awesome. Haha. I swam for the first time this season at Sabrina's aunt's house tonight, and then we watched Narnia. Good stuff. The family barbeque is miserable because it's basically all the family I don't like. Oh, well, things will die down soon, I hope. Though, it is 2 in the morning. G'night.

Well, the last two days have been the most wasteful I've been in quite a long time. Yesterday, I woke up around 2, just in time for Sabrina to call. She told me she wasn't feeling well and that she needed a nap before work. So, I didn't get to see her. So instead, I installed the Flash MMORPG Dofus, and played it for a while. But it sucked, so I floated around the house the rest of the day. I talked to people on AIM and watched TV. Total waste. Today was about the same. I woke up, watched TV, showered, and got ready to see Sabrina. She came over around 3 PM, and we watched I Love The 80s for about an hour, hung out a bit longer, then she headed out to work. She seemed pretty detached today. I think she's stretching herself thin, exactly as she was afraid of. I kind of figured it would happen, but not like this. I figured it would be more obvious, and she'd be upset at work, but instead, she seems to get through it just fine, and never complains. I just don't know what to think. And since she's been so busy, it makes me feel even more worthless. Being at home while my friends and family go to work. I'm a true bum. I hope finding a job is easier than last time. At least I know what I'm looking for now. I hope Sabrina is ok. Another shocker, Jimm has fulfilled my fifth goal already and built himself a computer from fresh, shiny, new parts. I need a job, Beetle, and a house ahead of that. My priorities are lined up and they stack upon each other. One thing will yield another, snoballing, in effect. I just hope I can get things rolling and stop being a damn bum. G'night.