Pneity

Saturday started slowly, I was tired, but we left pretty much on time. Jeremy couldn't go to Tekkoshocon with us, but it was still cool. The morning was crap with the exception that Sabrina looked beautiful in her dress. DDR registration was long and relatively boring. After that, things went slowly. Nothing much happened at all. I sat in the corner of the gameroom playing Stepmania for a while, with Mike for a while. The place was way too busy for any fun amount of gaming, especially since they took away Typing of the Dead and replaced it with some other game I'd never heard of. While being bored, I got a call on Sabrina's cell phone that my parents were going to Ohio to see a family friend of ours, Tim. He was diagnosed with terminal cancer and has a few months left to live. Which is sad, because he is such a great person. With that sadness on top of everything, the DDR tournament started, becuase none of the people running the show had a clue what time it was actually supposed to start. I got seeded at 24th place, and was up against the 8th place person in the first round. And he picked Sakura for the song. And he AA'd it, I failed pretty quick. That put me in the worst mood. Sabrina did really well in the Light DDR tournament, but was beat out by the sandbagger who won the thing. She had fun, and I was happy for her. She was even the crowd favorite. Cassie also got eliminated in the first round, so we went to Taco Bell for dinner. Moods were crappy until we got into Taco Bell, where they started ballroom dancing in the dining area while I ordered our food. The person working the counter and I had a nice conversation while they did it. That put me in a good mood, and it seemed to be good for them too. She spilled some taco sauce on her dress as the same girl who took the order was cleaning a table behind us. She helped her clean the dress up, and things were fine after that. It cleaned up wonderfully thanks to the girl's help. Thanks, not that you know me to read this thing. Har har. We went to Barnes and Noble after Taco Bell, and I was naturally out of place. After leaving there, we went back to the Con. That's when things got fun. Things calmed down a lot there, so we could actually do things. We played DDR nearly all night after that, all three of us. I made a good many friends at the DDR circle, they were good times. I also OD'd on Bawls. I spent some time talking to the guy who sells girdles in the vendor's room, and he explained to me how good business was in selling them at anime coĂs, and I explained to him the wonder of Bawls and DDR. Shortly after, or before, I don't really remember, Piano Squall showed up at the DDR circle. Earlier in the day he talked to Sabrina and I as if he knew us, but this time, he stuck around and played some DDR with us, and we had a nice conversation. I have to say, he's one of the nicest people I've ever talked to. And he's really good at DDR too. We got some pictures with him, then he headed off on his way. Sabrina, Cassie, and I giggled like Piano Squall fangirls for what seemed like forever, then the dance started. The dance ruled. Simple as that. I raved with glowsticks, just like everyone else. But we were too tired to keep it up, so we said goodbye to our new good friend who had been dancing and DDRing with us, and we left. When I got home, I ate some cereal, showered, and fell asleep on the blue recliner in my living room. I had the house alone, so it was cool. Daylight Savings Time began as well. The next afternoon, I woke up, and got ready for the day, still feeling intense fatigue from the night before. I called Sabrina and shortly after, watched some Blade 2, then headed to her house. We watched Fullmetal Alchemist for pretty much the whole night, as I got her video codecs on her laptop in order. We packed everything up, and headed to my house for hotdogs and ramen. Cassie played Kingdom Hearts 2, Sabrina watched Fullmetal Alchemist, and I cooked the food, which ended up delicious. Now, I took them home watched some Celebrity Jeopardy and Pure Pwnage. Now, I'm going to sleep. So ends the best single weekend of my life, and the third and fourth best days of my life. Tomorrow, I go to work and remember all the stuff I got to forget for a while this weekend. G'night.

Not too much happening lately. Monday sucked hard. I almost cried on the way to work. That's pretty extreme, and shows how much I hate what I do. But I got through the day. Kyle is gone for good, and we found out that we're getting rid of all of our dialup support and all the like, and instead, we have to work purely on the wireless and fiber connections. Which means lots of hard problems to solve and Cisco networing. Which I know nothing about. I have a feeling I'm going to be stuck in this situation, even though, all I can ever think about at work anymore is walking into my boss's office and having a little talk about my future employment, or lack thereof. Tuesday was more chaotic, as I had a lot of complex problems to deal with, and a lot of calling AT&T's crappy automated trouble reporting system. I feel like I'm stuck in a bad place. And I want to go to Otacon this year. But when I think about it, I have a beach vacation coming up, and I'd like to buy a Cobalt Flux pad. Not to mention eventually getting a new car, moving out of my house, and paying back student loans. Things sure are hard coming out of college, at least, coming out of a two year business school for computers. I can't help but wonder how things will pan out. Wednesday, today, was when I thought of all this to the obsessive point. I couldn't stop thinking about that, and the fun I had at Tekkoshocon. Even beyond that, I went to Sabrina's today, and my brain wasn't there with me. It was in another place. Out in a dark, terrible place. I'm truly depressed, I think. I get no joy from my days off because all I can think of is how much things suck. Which is how things have always been for me. I'm not sure if I mentioned the depressed feeling Saturday when I sat in on the voice actor Q&A session at Tekko, but yeah, there I was, watching the people I idolize because they do what I've always really wanted to do, and all it did for me was remind me that I'll never be able to do that. I left Sabrina's house, I was a mess of emotion. I'm really not looking forward to tomorrow. Working alone, during the day. It's the worst thing Ăn the world. Especially now, when things are that much harder. Oh, well... I downloaded the Yatta! video. It's not helping me feel any better. Those crazy Japanese in tiny leaf underwear. That didn't sound gay for me to say at all. Right? Meh. It's late, I need sleep. G'night. As an afterthought, I researched a game I used to love today. An old DOS PC game called Heaven And Earth. Good stuff.

This weekend was action packed, but felt so short. Good times, though. Thursday and Friday have blurred together in my memory. Work seems barable again, but I'm still unhappy, for the most part. I just don't know what it is. Is it the way I'm treated? Is it the constant guilt because of the poor management of tasks? Is it the pay? Not sure. Sabrina opened my eyes that I complain about it too much, and I don't see a way out, but perhaps it's just me being narrowsighted. I've decided to start looking for something else out there. Friday, after work, I felt bad because Kerry had to stay late. The change over of our dialup customers was going to take much longer than expected. Not surprising, but still sad. I got to leave on time, and after making it home, I took an hour nap. I've been so tired lately. The short nap on the couch wasn't enough, but I got ready and headed to Sabrina's. Sabrina, Cassie, and I went off to get Toni from Morgantown once again. We stopped at The Maxx arcade to play some DDR for a while. I kicked butt, even passed The Least 100 Sec on that crappy machine. I made it about half way through Max 300, too. We left there, despite the thunder. We got lost twice, once, heading up the mountain to Jumonville. Oops. My bad for reading the wrong directions. We got there eventually, then headed to EatnPark, the choice restaurant for late eating around here. We made fun of the people next to us the whole time, and talked about how redneck it was in West Virginia. No jokes, either. It was scary. We made it home with no incident. I stayed the night, since it was so late. We watched some Law And Order SVU First Season DVD, then slept. Saturday, we woke up, I went home, ate showered, then returned. Jeremy had come over, and we all hung out for a while, watched the Yatta video, played some Stepmania, then headed to the Cheap Seats movie theatre, and the mall. Played more DDR at the mall, saw someone I recognized from Tekkoshocn at the arcade there. Lawl. Afterwards, we saw Memoirs of a Geisha, and Fun WIth Dick and Jane. Both were mediocre. The Geisha movie needed more harakiri. Good times were had by all, though. We ate at Denny's afterwards. Which was pretty good. Dropped Jeremy off, headed home. Or rather, to Sabrina's home. We watched Cowboy Bebop until asleep, or rather, Sabrina and I were so tired we couldn't sleep. So we just sort of layed around for a few hours. This morning, I woke up slowly, then headed home for a shower and change of clothes. That's when I found out that Tim, a friend of my family, who had been diagnosed with terminal cancer just last weekend, died. It's so sad. I always thought he was so cool. So, after finding that out, I talked to my sister and dad for a while, even taking a ride in her new boyfriend's beautiful truck. Got some hope from talking to my dad about how things are going. I need more hope. Got back to Sabrina's only to find that we don't have to take Toni back to Morgantown. How nice. We picked Toni and Cassie up from the store they were dropped off at earlier in the day, then we headed to get gas and to the local park. We noobed it up at the park for a while, then headed back to Sabrina's. Rather uneventful night, so we hung out for a while, watched more Bebop, then I came home. I've been browsing 4Chan since, and am waiting to get some sleep. Work tomorrow. Feh.

Allow me to summarize this week: beautiful weather, crappy week. Work absolutely sucked. I even worked on Good Friday. Got off an hour early, though. How nice of them., eh? Bah. Saturday was nice, though. A quiet day at home with Sabrina, until a 7PM get together with Chad, Joey, Baker, and Sabrina. We all talked and ate for hours, Chad's grandma even joined us, and I realized how much I missed hanving out with them. I love those guys. We stayed late because Sabrina and I started talking to Chad's sister about Tekkoshocon and anime. We left really late, but the next morning would come much too quickly. Especially for Sabrina. She slept in. On Easter, the one day I actually like going to church. We were going to go with her dad to a church in Perryopolios. But she slept in, so we missed it. I woke her up when I called to see if she was coming about a half hour after the time she was supposed to pick me up. But no worries, right? She came over and we had a much too quiet morning together after picking up Casey and Tom's birthday cake from Walmart. We rewatched Dogma, then ate Easter dinner with the family. Soon after watching some Mythbusters with the family, we headed to Sabrina's for her Easter dinner. Things were nice there. Nicer than I'd have expected. I like her family, they're really sweet people when they try. The biggest thing I was looking forward to today was Sabrina was going to wear her Tekko costume because it's practically an Easter dress. After nagging from me, she changed into it, but only for about an hour, which made me upset all night. Therein making her upset. We shared some music amongst each other, then we watched some Pure Pwnage. After that, Sabrina and I sat alone in her room for a while, upset. I decided we should go downstairs, get our minds going again. So we talked to her grandpap for about two hours, he was reminessing about his time delivering milk, newspapers, and furnature in New York when he was younger. We eventually trailed off into conversation about the mysterious deaths of Jimmy Hoffa, Marilyn Monroe, and Elvis and each respective conspiracy theory. Fun? I thought so. After going back to Sabrina's room for some goodbye time, we were in much better moods, apologizing and the like, but I got sad pretty quick again when I realized that the week was about to begin. Sabrina, Cassie, and I started talking about how much I hate my job, and what I'd rather be doing. A recurring theme in conversations I'm in these days, and I think it's irritating them. They tried providing me insight and hope in changing careers to my dream job, voice acting. Normally, it would have made me feel good about myself, but it was more depressing once I actually left. On my way home, I kept thinking about how impossible it would be to go back to school, and how I've lost all faith in the cuteness of Easter, my former favorite holiday. I also realized that my crusade to get Sabrina confident enough about herself to start wearing skirts and dresses because she actually likes them, rather than just for me is futile. She can do what she wants from now on. I'm so selfish. I'm sick of fighting against that current. Spring is bitter, and it's going to be a cruel summer. I'm trapped.