Things continue to go wrong but at least I have a grasp on exactly where I stand now. A brief update on the things out of my hands would be where my dad stands. He had his test. The biopsy hurt him a lot. About a week after it happened, we were loaded drunk at a Super Bowl party at a local friend's personal bar. He confided in me that his kidneys were hurting a lot since the tests and he's not sure what comes next because it's not getting better. I believe that by now, it's better. At least he hasn't brought it up. But he's also got the results of that now and it was clean. No new cancer, just continuations of what he had before. Three more treatments on that now.
The main problem with those further treatments is that they take a lot out of him; they make him sick for a few days of each week. On top of that, they told him during the last treatment that due to the type of bladder cancer he has, it's not the kind they can operate on and repair things. It's just the kind they keep treating as much as they can. That has weighed so heavily on him. He is full on depressed and there's nothing I can do but be here. And that's really hard for me to do because I'm so blindingly depressed, I can't stand to spend time not staring into the v o i d.
I want to be there. I've got a lot of things stressing me out right now.
I'm on unemployment right now. Pennsylvania requires that I apply to at least two jobs a week to prove I'm looking for work. There are a lot of stipulations that mean I could lose my benefits. I got an interview for a job I'm not qualified for. That turned into a second interview in mid February. It was about three weeks and I never got any offers from it all until the end of February. They low-balled me pretty bad which wouldn't be the biggest deal but some other news was weighing on my mind as well. I declined the offer. To tell you why, I need to tell you another story.
I finally saw a periodontic surgeon about my receding gums at the end of February. They investigated closely and gave me a full expectation. The outlook was not at all good. They wanted to do gum grafting. Two surgeries, one for each side of the mouth. It will take 6-8 weeks of recovery time for each side. The first was to happen on March 1. I left that exam troubled. I was going to be grounded in the US until at least mid April and would have to do it all again in May which furthers that until July. The cost is also completely out of pocket.
So knowing I was about to undergo gum surgery, I may not be very good at talking for a bit or focusing on learning a new job. I would at least be able to have the job for a few months since I'm stuck inthe US anyway. But since it was a lowball offer, I called him back and politely declined. That's when it got worse.
I had to tell the state that I declined a job offer. That could end my unemployment benefits and has to be reviewed by their offices. It's been about a month and it's still under review. While under review, I have no cash flow at all. I'm just stuck in limbo getting poorer. I have no more savings to lean on, either.
I told my buddy Lawrence the prognosis and the massive delay. He and some friends were on the books to visit Japan. They were supposed to meet me there; I was supposed to already be there by April. He told me I should join them. I did some quick math and realized I should be able to do it. I got home, got super drunk and bought the plane ticket without much hesitation. I left myself a screenshot of the website for sober me to see labeled "lol i boght it u cant stop it now.txt". So I'm going to Japan in April. I'm going to be dead poor when I get back. I'm going to be dead poor going into my second mouth surgery.
March 1st, I got my first gum surgery. They gave me a strong sedative pill to take because my blood pressure was high from dental anxiety. My mom took me in and I got it all done. The left side of my mouth was all stitched up. I was given EXTREMELY strict instructions on the recovery process. Basically, no looking at the surgery site because pulling my lips back would rip open the sutures. No chewing or brushing that whole half of my mouth. No mouthwash. I panic called the dentist over a few questions over the next few days but overall, the immediate misery and recovery was ok. Just patience from there on.
I had a two week checkup at their offices and they confirmed that everything is looking really good for my recovery. It's been another week since. I get my sutures out April 5th. Another week or two of babying my mouth and I should be in the clear to get the second half done. But I have a three week trip to Japan right around that point. April 19th, we fly out. It's the only thing keeping me going.
I have one other story I want to tell that happened since my last update but I've gone on too long. I'll leave that story for next time.